Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all! May the joy of this wonderful holiday surround you and your family with peace, love & hope.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank those that follow, read & share my Blogs. Your encouragement and support is overwhelming and very much appreciated.

I am going to stray from my usual blog consisting of my own words and share something special with you today. For my Christmas Blog I would like to share one of my favorite poems...Desiderata. It is a poem written by American writer Max Ehrmann in 1927. This poem hangs on my refrigerator and I read it often throughout the year. They are amazing words to live by and wisdom to be shared. It is a nice reminder that with all of the craziness in the world, it is still a beautiful life...

DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Just Sayin',
Christina

Forgiveness

Okay folks, today I’m going to blog about something that some of you may not be comfortable with but I believe it is one of the most essential parts of living an authentic life….FORGIVENESS. We associate forgiveness with others that have “done us wrong” in some way. We have all been raised with the saying “forgive & forget”.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive a person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps YOU go on with life. Forgiveness is about self. Yes, you have the power to choose to move past the “wrong” and let go of the sadness, anger, confusion, bitterness and resentment. Holding a grudge about an injustice leaves you trapped in negativity and prevents you from living in the present.

The truth is…people will hurt you, disappoint you & sometimes betray you. This pain can run so deep that it takes over your mind, body & spirit. I have had paralyzing hurts that have made me want to crawl into a corner in the fetal position and never come out. But I have learned to look at the situation straight in the eyes and say, “I am going to get better not bitter!!” It is a choice to process through the pain and get to the point where you can let go of the self-destructiveness of harboring a grudge & bitterness. This will move you to learning the lesson, removing yourself as the "victim" and releasing the control & power that the offending person had in your life. This sometimes means removing that person from your life entirely! Been there, done that!

Sometimes forgiving another person is much easier than forgiving yourself!  I have had those conversations with myself where I question my judgment, ask myself “how could I have been so blind” and “how did I allow this to happen”. Sound familiar? Do not let your life be defined by how you’ve been hurt! When you forgive yourself you let go of that part of yourself that wants to keep you trapped inside a vicious circle of blame, guilt & fear. For the sake of your own well-being you must start to remove the bars from that prison cell!

With the New Year right around the corner, let it be a time for reflection, to forgive those that have sucked the joy out of you in some way and refresh yourself with a sense of peace. In turn we free ourselves to be more loving, compassionate & understanding. Forgiveness can be one of the best gifts you give to yourself!

Just Sayin’,

Christina

Life Is Precious

This week I was reminded of how precious life is. Sometimes going through our daily tasks we get caught up in all of it and forget that each day is a gift. I heard of the passing of a high school acquaintance and how she left behind a husband and three young children. She was an active member of her community and will be missed by many. My heart breaks for her children and those that loved her. It confirms that although I don't understand the events of life sometimes, I know that God has a bigger plan. He has the ability to make sense out of the tragedies and make good things come out of bad.
Sometimes I need to take a step back and think, that if today were my last day on this earth, have I told the people that mean the most to me everything that I need to tell them? Have I expressed my love and appreciation for their presence in my life? It seems the older I get, the shorter life seems and I don't want to waste time on negitivity, regrets and frustration. I want to live each day to the fullest making the best of it and giving the best I can.
So today amongst the busyness of the holiday season; the buying & wrapping of gifts, the baking of cookies, the cooking of holiday meals, I will stop and remember that I am blessed to be able to do all of these things. I will stop and thank God for the opportunity to entertain family & friends and to provide for my children. I will show my extreme gratitude to all of the wonderful and special people in my life. I will hold the hugs of my children a few moments longer and I will stand under the mistletoe more frequently. I will remember to be present and live "in the moment". I will smile more, laugh louder & love more deeply and intentionally.
I will remember that each day is a gift. I will try to unwrap the blessings that each one of those days has to offer!

Just Sayin',
Christina

Truth

Truth…sincerity in action or character.   There are sayings about truth; the truth hurts, the truth will set you free, truth is stranger than fiction.  Blah, blah blah…

I really appreciate truthful people. For instance if I have a piece of broccoli in my teeth, if my zipper is undone or if my skirt is tucked into my panty hose,  I want someone to tell me the TRUTH!! It can be a bit embarrassing but not being told will prove to be even more embarrassing. I also like taking a particular friend or my daughter clothes shopping with me, first of all because I hate to clothes shop, but secondly because both of them will be honest enough to tell me when something doesn't look good on me.  No, I don’t want to hear “your butt looks HUGE in those pants", but I appreciate them saying “I don’t like the way those fit you” or “I liked the first pair of jeans you tried on better than those”.  I call it truth with cooth.

Well truth is a funny thing.  Yes, sometimes the truth does hurt! It definitely carries a sting at times. It is never comfortable to be confronted if you messed up at work and you need to be told about it. When a person comes to you with a corrective truth, use that opportunity to improve and learn.

There is also hurtful truth. If you find out that someone has lied to you or betrayed you, that sting can run deep.  Remember that this is usually done by someone close to you because only those truly close to you can get close enough to your heart.  I have been in this situation several times. This is the kind of truth that smacks you in the face, kicks you in the gut and takes your breath away. The only way to handle this type of truth is head on.  Ultimately, knowing the truth when someone hurts you deeply does set you free…eventually. Truth will open your eyes to a situation, a person’s soul, a person’s intention, give you a clearer perspective and for me, it somehow makes sense out of the events leading up to and prior to my “knowing”.  

I have found that the truth can set you free.  It can free you from guilt, uncertainty, insecurities, and peacelessness. Truth can be the Universe’s way of removing certain people from your life. It can be the great motivator for you to fight harder for what you want and what you believe in. Truth can be a catalyst for you to make changes in your life.  Wonderful changes that will lead to better and greater paths.

I would much rather live knowing the TRUTH, facing it head on, dealing with all that comes with it than living with lies and falsehoods. I would rather be surrounded by honest, trustworthy people that have good intentions than be in the company of deceitful liars.  The truth should not be feared, it should be embraced!

Just Sayin’,

Christina

Scrooge

A Christmas Carol... this English novella was written by Charles Dickens and first published in December 1843. That was 168 years ago! The story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a wealthy, bitter, greedy man is a timeless story. As I watched the George C. Scott version of this classic last night it dawned on me how long ago this story was written. It has been retold many times in different versions throughout the years, but the message is still the same.

The George C. Scott version is my favorite but I am very fond of the version with Bill Murray...Scrooged. It always makes me laugh when the stage hand tells Bill Murray that he can't get the antlers to stay on the mouse and he says, "Have you tried staples?" Whatever version you prefer, I think it is a must see for the holidays. It is a great reminder that our behavior and choices in life can have a great effect on both ourselves and those around us. Every choice does affect the outcome but it is never too late to change our ways and start over and make things right. How wonderful it is to see Ebenezer Scrooge's transformation after he is visited by his old business partner, the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come. I love when he finally visits his nephew and apologizes for his humbug behavior and states, "God forgive me for so many wasted years." Hmm......

With the hustle and bustle of the busy shopping season we are all bound to run into a Scrooge here and there. In the spirit of the season , let us be reminded of the true meaning of the season, the true joy of giving and that it is never too late to stop wasting years being a Scrooge!

Also, make it your mission to affect someone in a positive way. Perhaps an anonymous, random act of kindness! Just a little holiday challenge for y'all!

And finally, in the words of Tiny Tim, "May God bless us, everyone!"

Just Sayin',
Christina

Keep Marching

My Dad has a saying (well he actually has many that I use!) …”pick yourself up by your boot straps and keep on marching”! This is usually preceded by his “nobody said it was gonna be easy kid”!  He is a very wise man and somehow when life has thrown me a curve ball, these little sayings of his always run through my mind. I kind of use them as my mantra during the tough times.

Have you heard of the saying that the only things certain in life are death and taxes?  Well, I believe there are a few other certain things in life…one of them is troubles. You can call them whatever you like… problems, hurdles, obstacles, hardships, curve balls, issues, annoyances, lessons, etc.  Whatever name you give them, we all have them at some point in or lives and sometimes more often than we like. How each of us deals with them is an individual process and the length of the lingering “troubles” is different with each circumstance.

I need to revert back to my blog on the “Phoenix Process” (11/13/11) for a moment.  Remember that this process allows us to embrace the ability to grow through difficult times knowing that we will rise from the ashes stronger, wiser and better prepared for all that is to come.

The “issue” I have is when people get STUCK.  Emotionally STUCK! Wallowing in their misery! You know what I mean. Some of you are probably picturing that person in your mind right now or perhaps it is you!  An example would be a time when someone has hurt you so deeply with their words or actions and you just can’t “get over it”. It is perfectly normal to have a period of time where you feel the pain, get angry, process, grieve and have a pity party for yourself. Perhaps you soothe yourself with a quart of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream or go and hit the punching bag for a while, but you need to get through it and “pick yourself up by your boot straps and keep marching”! Lingering on hurt feelings long after the act was committed is self-destructive. Chances are the person that hurt you hasn’t even given the situation another thought. If you wallow too long, the perpetrator has won. They have won the battle of controlling your feelings, heart & mind. I say, NO WAY! Learn the lesson in it and keep moving, one step at a time. You are better for going through any experience, even hurtful ones.  

Also, I know how annoying it is when someone says to you, “you just need to get over it”.  ARGH!  Yea right, if I KNEW how to get over it I wouldn’t be feeling so bad!! Instead, when someone says that to you, replace those words to yourself by saying, “I am working my way through it”! This way you are giving yourself back the power & control with this internal dialogue. Life stops for no one! So why waste time wallowing when you could be growing?

A big part of working through “it” is forgiveness, but my friends, that is an entirely different blog for another day!!

I will end hear with another of my Dad’s famous quotes and a great saying to add to your mantra …“This too shall pass” and one of my Mom’s favorite Irish blessings, “May your days be many and your troubles be few”.

Just Sayin’,

Christina

Beauty

This past week I was disturbed by a comment I read where someone referred to themselves as ugly. Ugly by definition is unattractive or unpleasing to look at: offensive to the sense of beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It burdens me that young people have been programmed to believe in society's version of beauty. A very distorted view in my opinion.
I have always admired my Mom because she has always been able to see the beauty in people. She sees below the surface and always looks for the good in people. The beauty that radiates from the soul, spirit and heart. Even if someone displays an "ugly" attitude, she thinks beyond that moment and realizes that we have no idea what is happening in that person's life at the moment. She truly is an amazing woman!
I have always said that as the years pass your outward beauty may fade however, it is my prayer that you surround yourself with people that appreciate the beauty that shines from within you.
The older I get, my perception of beauty has changed. The things that draw my attention to people are far beyond what the eye can see. Yes, I can admire someone's physical attributes...pretty eyes or a smooth as silk complexion, the fit conditioning of ones body type or healthy hair. I definitely believe in taking good care of what you were given! But, what really attracts me is character, intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, integrity, humility and creativity. The true beauty of us all lies within the heart. I love when you meet someone that oozes with joy. Is that person's life perfect? Absolutely not! But the "beauty" that they display with their presence shines outwardly. How about when you witness some of nature's beauty. A stunning sunset or sunrise, a rainbow after the rain, the mist rising from the creek in the morning, the majestic colors the fall leaves display, etc... Those scenes fill us with a sense of true loveliness and awe.
Sometimes we just all need a reminder of the beauty we possess! A reminder that each of us is a miracle with the ability to shine and project the goodness of our hearts. Take ownership of the beautiful individual within you and let it shine and never be afraid to share that unique part of yourself!
Just Sayin'
Christina