Two things dawned on me during this conversation and perhaps it was one of those times that life gives you a little lesson or thought to ponder in order to be more aware of who we are. The first thing was that we really need to be a bit more empathetic to the people in our lives. We are all traveling on the path of our own journey and if our path doesn’t line up with the people in our life, it is merely that fact that everyone’s circumstances are different. Instead of taking things personally, we need to try and understanding the place in which others are coming from or traveling through. My mother has an expression, “don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins”. I have heard this over and over for the last 40 something years. Perhaps that is why I do have empathy towards others (thanks Mom); a trait that I realize does not come easy to many…unfortunately. Do you have the ability to stop, sit still and imagine what someone else is going through or feeling? Are you so wrapped up and being busy in your own world and feelings that you can’t see anyone’s view but yours? Think about it, sometimes all that is required is some empathy!
One of my favorite sayings is “it is what it is”. Instead of being quick to judge or over analyze someone’s actions, take a step back and try to picture yourself in their shoes or circumstances. After all, if they are your friends, you should not have to questions their intentions and chances are, if you talked about your feelings with them, perhaps they are wishing that the circumstances were different too. But, it is what it is…nothing more, nothing less! The great thing about circumstances is that they are always changing! And, remember it IS about taking a moment to slip into someone else’s shoes to gain understanding, NOT about becoming engrossed in the emotional baggage of hanging out in someone else’s dirty sneakers!
One of my favorite sayings is “it is what it is”. Instead of being quick to judge or over analyze someone’s actions, take a step back and try to picture yourself in their shoes or circumstances. After all, if they are your friends, you should not have to questions their intentions and chances are, if you talked about your feelings with them, perhaps they are wishing that the circumstances were different too. But, it is what it is…nothing more, nothing less! The great thing about circumstances is that they are always changing! And, remember it IS about taking a moment to slip into someone else’s shoes to gain understanding, NOT about becoming engrossed in the emotional baggage of hanging out in someone else’s dirty sneakers!
Secondly during this conversation, when she used the word “distant”, I interjected with the word “cocooning”. It is a word I use often and one of the things that I know very well about myself. I “cocoon”! It is a term that I use when I feel myself retreating into myself. Not in a selfish way, but in a healing way. It is how I try and regain my balance and the way I cope with the sometimes overwhelming-ness of life. When I have no control of the “stuff” going on and I have done all I can physically, I let the rest go and quite my mind by cocooning. Perhaps it is perceived as being distant or stand-offish, but is merely my way of rebooting my spirit and sense of well-being. I also cocoon when I am trying to gather my thoughts, when I am working on a new writing or when I am going through stressful circumstances. I do not defend this nor do I apologize for it, it simply is part of who I am and a time of personal growth and awareness.
I was reminded about this conversation this morning when I read Metamorphosis by author Doe Zantamata. She so eloquently describes the exactness of what I was writing about above. I truly do not think it was an accident that I came upon this writing the same day I was composing this blog…..hmm! Here is what she writes:
Metamorphosis by Doe Zantamata
On the journey between caterpillar to butterfly, the caterpillar encloses itself into a cocoon.
Within that cocoon, the entire caterpillar is broken down into a soup-like mixture.
Just about all of the major structures are broken down and then rebuilt, including the heart.
Soon, the butterfly emerges. Hardly a trace of the caterpillar remains. The butterfly becomes free to fly.
Personal transformation is much the same. Tired of just eating, working, existing, we go within and close off somewhat from the outside world.
We re-examine all of our beliefs; what we were told, what we learned. The process takes much longer than a few days, but sooner or later, we rebuild. We replace false beliefs, held in our minds, with truths, held in our hearts. We shed the old, and begin to emerge anew.
Beautiful thought huh? If showing more empathy towards our fellow humans, remembering to walk in someone else’s moccasin’s once in a while and taking some time to rebuild in order to “emerge anew “ sounds good to you, then make it so! The world will be a better place because of it!
Just Sayin’,
Christina
