You can’t move forward holding onto old wounds. Many
people are addicted to their wounds.
They cling to them like a security “blankie”. They take
identity in their bad story and continually tell the story from a victim
mentality perspective to anyone that will listen. The story owns and defines
them instead of them owning the story. Perhaps to gain sympathy or attention,
but it will never project them forward into their authentic life as long as
they keep picking open the scab and having people watch them bleed. It will
drain the spirt, the body and make them feel like they are treading water. The
only time one should be referring back upon a bad story is to remind oneself of
how far they have come or to help someone in a similar situation.
There comes a time when you have to say “I don’t want to
feel like this anymore” and then you have to feel your way through it to heal
your way through it. Healing is a choice. You have to be willing to do the
inner work to reconnect with your inner truth. This is not always an easy task,
but there are a few things that can help you start.
1)
Force
yourself to forgive. This does not condone the hurt but rather frees you from
the suffering. Whether it is someone else you need to forgive or perhaps it is
yourself. There are no mistakes, just lessons learned and wisdom acquired.2) Everyday get up, get dressed and show up. As miserable as you may feel, just do it. Start walking through everyday challenges one minute, one hour or one day at a time. Your record for surviving up until this point is remarkable…Celebrate small victories!
3) Inner dialog is vital. Stop asking why this happened and start asking what you were supposed to learn from it. I bet you can at least list three things that you have learned from this experience. Sometimes little mantra’s that you repeat to yourself will help rid the negative monsters that want to fill your head. Don’t speak anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend.
4) Create a path for the future. Start getting involved, take a class, join a meetup, work on a hobby. Getting involved in doing things that make you feel good. This keeps your mind focused in a positive direction and an opportunity to surround yourself with new experiences and like-minded people.
5) Surround yourself with supportive, positive people. Sometimes that means walking away from people that you have known along time or shared some life stuff with. Don’t be afraid to walk away from toxicity and people that no longer fill you with worth and encouragement. This is YOUR journey through life, not theirs! Sometimes this can be lonely, but trust me you will thank yourself in the long run by making room for anew. Your tribe will gather and these people will always have your back.
6) Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. When you get stuck in the negative thoughts, STOP, find a quiet spot, breathe and replace with a thought of the things you are grateful for. Practice will make this easier and eventually this will become second nature in pushing the bad vibes away. There is always something to be grateful for. When you start showing more gratitude you leave more room for abundance in your life.
7) Perspective goes hand in hand with gratitude. Perspective gives you a broad spectrum view and allows you to see the eagle’s eye view rather the ant’s view. Whether you look at the glass as half full or half empty is irrelevant as long as you KNOW that you can refill the glass at any time! The view from the top of the lighthouse is always better than just looking through a telescope. You get to focus on the big picture. Perspective allows you to see that this wound is so small compared to the rest of your life.
8) Get rid of anything that weighs you down. Unclutter your life. Whether it is your mind, your house, your closet. Get rid of the excess and stick to the basics. Keep it simple. Collect memories, not STUFF!!
9) KNOW THIS….YOU are loved, YOU are valuable, YOU have a purpose, YOU are special, YOU are worthy, YOU are empowered. and YOU GOT THIS! Great mantras to say to yourself!
10) FREEDOM and HEALING feels so much better then FEAR and PAIN. Let your empowered Soul soar!
Just Sayin',
~Christina
