The Phoenix Process

November 13, 2011

We can all recall a certain moment or a time in our life when we learned a lesson or the "light bulb" moment came over us. You know the ones I am talking about...where a tremendous feeling of clarity over comes us and we "get it". It could be something that you read, heard on television, a word from the pulpit or a speaker at a conference. Sometimes it is just that inner voice that screams to us ever so clearly that you have learned something that will impact your life greatly.
I was reading the book "Broken Open- How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow" by Elizabeth Lesser. More than 25 years ago she co-founded the Omega Institute which is the world's largest center for spiritual retreat and personal growth. In short, she writes about learning to break open and blossom into who we where meant to be. Love it and highly recommend it.
I was reading about what Ms. Lesser calls a "Phoenix Process". As we are told in mythology, the Phoenix is a mythical bird that has a life span of 500-1000 years and at the end of its life it builds a nest of twigs that then ignites. Both the nest and bird are reduced to ashes in which a new Phoenix arises. Wow! Sounds pretty crazy right? Now, I am NOT recommending that anybody starts gathering twigs and lighter fluid, but I am talking about starting anew, rising from the ashes and becoming better than we thought possible.
There was a time when my marriage was struggling and I had utter feelings of betrayal,  helplessness, loneliness, anxiety and getting out of bed and going to work each morning took every bit of strength I had. My problems were taking over my entire being. I prayed hard everyday and yet because I have an incredible amount of faith, I still had a belief that no matter how things turned out that I would be okay...eventually.
We all go through tough times and I have had more than my share, but my defining moment came when I learned to embrace the pain. NO, I have not lost my mind!! I don't particularly like pain or going through tribulations, feelings of disappointment, hurt, betrayal, etc,, etc....However, I have learned to embrace whatever it is I am going through because like the Phoenix, I WILL rise from the ashes! Stronger, wiser and knowing that it is preparing me for whatever is coming next. The one thing to remember is that it is a PROCESS! A process has no rules when it comes to time. Depending on the situation at hand, it can be a few weeks, a few months or a few years. After all, we are all growing and learning everyday that we are breathing!! With a retrospective view, there are so many times that I have gone through a tribulation where I  took a step back to realize that I could have never dealt with the current situation if I hadn't learned a lesson from a previous situation. See, going through a Phoenix process doesn't mean that you don't feel the feelings, it just allows you to realize that the pain or hurt that you are experiencing is going to fade and it is a time of growth and change. Change that will eventually lead to resolve within yourself and that will always lead to a more authentic life!

Just Sayin',
Christina