Why?

After reading an article this week that “THEY” (private funders with government publicity) are going to spend money on trying to find Amelia Earhart, again, it got me thinking…

First of all, I truly believe that there are better things that people could spend their money on, but I fully respect that people have the RIGHT to spend THEIR money on whatever they choose (even if I believe it to be asinine!).  My problem with it is that even if they do follow the leads & clues to find what happened to Amelia Earhart, what does it resolve? Other than sheer curiosity to a 70 year old mystery, what will it help? Yes, perhaps they will uncover the great mystery to a significant historic event (or tragedy) and perhaps they can uncover some artifacts and display the findings in museums and air television specials. Yup, someone will make money off of this, but if they do find Amelia Earhart, shouldn’t they let her rest in peace?  

Which brings me to my point….there are just certain “things” in life we will never know the answers to! The nature of human curiosity is understandable. After all, “WHY?” is a very valid question and there are definitely times when we need to ask. We are raised asking WHY...it is how we learn and understand. Inventions and cures to disease were found by someone’s brilliant mind wanting to wrap around the “why” and how can I make it better attitude. But there comes a time in one’s life that you have to give up trying to know ALL of the answers. Sometimes you will never understand the “why” and you just have to accept it. If you get stuck in this spiral you will make yourself miserable and dizzy!  

Did you ever have a time in your life where you would constantly question people’s actions or intentions or events? This is very easy to do when you have been hurt or hear of a terrible story. I can hear the questions run through my head:

Why did she hurt me this way?

How could he make the choices he made?

What were they thinking?

Why was I so blind?

What was I thinking?

What are his intentions?

What happened to make this person the way they are?

Why did this happen to me?

How did I get here?

Why didn’t I get the job?

Why oh why oh why? 

When you KNOW that you will never have the answers to certain questions, you must resolve to let it go.  Do not waste any more time on trying to figure it out. You will never be able to figure out why people do what they do and why they act the way they do and what they are thinking! Somewhere beneath layers of false perceptions, lies, betrayals, anger & fear, lies the truth; truth that one will never truly know. Not that we should all go and bury our heads in the sand, but we are just not meant to have all of the answers!  Some questions are best left unanswered especially if knowing the answer will not lead to anything positive or change the circumstances. Some may think that having the “answer” will lead to closure. Yes, that is true is some cases, but closure will truly come when you let it go and give up the desire to have all of the answers because you realize that it doesn’t matter in the big picture of life. You don’t need to let an unanswered question have that much control over your thoughts. Life is full of mysteries and that is not a bad thing. Mystery can make life interesting and as I said before, we are not meant to have all of the answers. Letting it go means letting it rest so that you may find peace! 

By all means, there will always be questions I ponder such as:

Why do I put two socks into the washing machine and only one comes out?

What really happened to Marilyn Monroe?

Why can’t my “boys” learn to put the toilet seat down?

What is really going on at Area 51?

Why is our government so corrupt? (oops, did I say that?)

But, if I never know the answers to these questions it won’t change a damn thing! Spend your time concentrating on all of the things that will make a difference in your life or the life of another. I’m sure it will lead to a much more rewarding life.  Why, you ask? Because you are worth it and because I said so!!! J 

Just Sayin’,

Christina

Greener Grass?

So, I read an article “Is Facebook Ruining Your Life?” They had a study of FB user’s ages 18 to 65 read their friends status updates. Afterword’s, those FB users rated their lives as much less satisfying as those that didn’t check on the news feed first. The reasoning was that much of how we judge our success in life is based upon how we stack up against our peers. We tend to think that everyone is living a much cooler and exciting life than ours.  Interesting…

Well, that gets me thinking. It is true…we seem to live in a world where we constantly are comparing ourselves to others.  All you have to do is watch TV or read a magazine or an article online to see what “society” defines as beautiful, successful & “normal”! I always say, “There is no such thing as “normal”!” So why do we compare ourselves with others? Yes, there will always be people you know that are more financially stable, smarter, better looking, more physically fit, own more material “stuff”, drive a  nicer car, live in a nicer house, has a better job, take nicer vacations, has a more fulfilling marriage, has smarter kids, is more organized, can handle stress better,  blah , blah, blah. The list can go on and on and on!  We seem to want to define our success by a worldly view of what others have and how well they are juggling it all in this crazy journey we call LIFE! 

Somehow it is so easy to get caught up in a “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” mentality. But guess what folks, YOU are NOT living someone else’s life; YOU are creating your own.  If you are not happy with the color or texture of you own lawn, then start fertilizing it! Trust me, in most cases the grass is NOT greener and there tends to be “weeds” on everyone’s lawn! It is up to you to create the life you want. Yes, on social media site’s, you see the fabulous pictures and hear where everyone is having a fabulous dinner on the town or going to on vacation and all of the “successes”, but that is just a narrow view of what is really going on in someone’s daily life. If you are like me, I prefer to have positive friends on these site’s that post positive messages and leave their dirty laundry out of it. I like hearing all of the wonderful things going on in the lives of the people I care about that I don’t get a chance to see or talk to often.  If there is something that needs to be kept private that is what private messaging is for and we don’t have to share every piece of ourselves with everybody.  Remember that what people choose to show you is just a small part and that our perceptions of perfection are SKEWED.

Embrace YOUR life, where You are and how You got there! There is a “Time” for everything and a “Season” for everything.  How can I possible compare my life to those that have not walked in my exact footprints?  Yes, I admire friends that have raised their children and have an empty nest and seem to be able to take time for themselves and come and go as they please. BUT, I am not in that season yet. My time will come. I ALSO, admire friends that still have little ones and get to experience the wonder  and scents of having their freshly bathed child fall asleep on their shoulder. I have had that season.  Yes, I wish it was me that just got back from a wonderful romantic vacation at an all exclusive resort, but I WILL get there (because it is on my bucket list!). There will be time for magical vacations! I also wish that I could get together with my girlfriends that live far away from me more often  for a glass of wine or a martini or two or three. But, when I do get together with them, it makes me cherish those moments so much more.  You see, I can wish or feel a pang of envy when I see others doing fabulous things, BUT,  the difference is in the perception. I do not think of them as having a more fulfilling life. I know that the grass isn’t greener on the other side and MY season will come.

So to answer the original question, Is FB ruing your life? Hmmm… No! I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been reacquainted with friends from my childhood and other fazes of my life. I love seeing the pictures of them & their families. It is also the way I get to keep in touch with my family and all that is going on in their lives. It is a tool to keep me connected with the people I care about. A great “tool” to utilize in a very busy world!

As far as comparing ourselves to others…I say that we can be our own worst enemy, we need to keep an attitude of gratitude for what we DO have, keep check of our “stinkin’ thinkin’ sometimes,  view our perceptions with “real” glasses , understand that timing is everything and know that the grass is NOT greener on the other side! Now, go out there, live an authentic life and remember to “fertilize” your OWN grass!

Just Sayin’,

Christina