Greener Grass?

So, I read an article “Is Facebook Ruining Your Life?” They had a study of FB user’s ages 18 to 65 read their friends status updates. Afterword’s, those FB users rated their lives as much less satisfying as those that didn’t check on the news feed first. The reasoning was that much of how we judge our success in life is based upon how we stack up against our peers. We tend to think that everyone is living a much cooler and exciting life than ours.  Interesting…

Well, that gets me thinking. It is true…we seem to live in a world where we constantly are comparing ourselves to others.  All you have to do is watch TV or read a magazine or an article online to see what “society” defines as beautiful, successful & “normal”! I always say, “There is no such thing as “normal”!” So why do we compare ourselves with others? Yes, there will always be people you know that are more financially stable, smarter, better looking, more physically fit, own more material “stuff”, drive a  nicer car, live in a nicer house, has a better job, take nicer vacations, has a more fulfilling marriage, has smarter kids, is more organized, can handle stress better,  blah , blah, blah. The list can go on and on and on!  We seem to want to define our success by a worldly view of what others have and how well they are juggling it all in this crazy journey we call LIFE! 

Somehow it is so easy to get caught up in a “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” mentality. But guess what folks, YOU are NOT living someone else’s life; YOU are creating your own.  If you are not happy with the color or texture of you own lawn, then start fertilizing it! Trust me, in most cases the grass is NOT greener and there tends to be “weeds” on everyone’s lawn! It is up to you to create the life you want. Yes, on social media site’s, you see the fabulous pictures and hear where everyone is having a fabulous dinner on the town or going to on vacation and all of the “successes”, but that is just a narrow view of what is really going on in someone’s daily life. If you are like me, I prefer to have positive friends on these site’s that post positive messages and leave their dirty laundry out of it. I like hearing all of the wonderful things going on in the lives of the people I care about that I don’t get a chance to see or talk to often.  If there is something that needs to be kept private that is what private messaging is for and we don’t have to share every piece of ourselves with everybody.  Remember that what people choose to show you is just a small part and that our perceptions of perfection are SKEWED.

Embrace YOUR life, where You are and how You got there! There is a “Time” for everything and a “Season” for everything.  How can I possible compare my life to those that have not walked in my exact footprints?  Yes, I admire friends that have raised their children and have an empty nest and seem to be able to take time for themselves and come and go as they please. BUT, I am not in that season yet. My time will come. I ALSO, admire friends that still have little ones and get to experience the wonder  and scents of having their freshly bathed child fall asleep on their shoulder. I have had that season.  Yes, I wish it was me that just got back from a wonderful romantic vacation at an all exclusive resort, but I WILL get there (because it is on my bucket list!). There will be time for magical vacations! I also wish that I could get together with my girlfriends that live far away from me more often  for a glass of wine or a martini or two or three. But, when I do get together with them, it makes me cherish those moments so much more.  You see, I can wish or feel a pang of envy when I see others doing fabulous things, BUT,  the difference is in the perception. I do not think of them as having a more fulfilling life. I know that the grass isn’t greener on the other side and MY season will come.

So to answer the original question, Is FB ruing your life? Hmmm… No! I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been reacquainted with friends from my childhood and other fazes of my life. I love seeing the pictures of them & their families. It is also the way I get to keep in touch with my family and all that is going on in their lives. It is a tool to keep me connected with the people I care about. A great “tool” to utilize in a very busy world!

As far as comparing ourselves to others…I say that we can be our own worst enemy, we need to keep an attitude of gratitude for what we DO have, keep check of our “stinkin’ thinkin’ sometimes,  view our perceptions with “real” glasses , understand that timing is everything and know that the grass is NOT greener on the other side! Now, go out there, live an authentic life and remember to “fertilize” your OWN grass!

Just Sayin’,

Christina