Contentment can be a wonderful thing. To be satisfied with what one is or has, not wanting more or anything else is a wonderfully positive place to dwell, but I believe that it is in our human nature to want our relationships to evolve to greater levels. Sometimes we lose sight of that goal, aren’t sure how to get there or how to jump back on track. Love gets complicated and relationships are a skilled balancing act between two people. They involve compromise, trust, respect, affection, nurturing, lots of communication, maintaining individuality and self-interests. Every relationship has its ups & downs, peaks as valleys, good times, okay times and bad times. Relationships are hard work! When we forget to do the “work” is where complacency starts!
Complacency is a feeling of pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation or condition. Complacency is the root of many relationship down-falls and opens the door for a plethora of other problems. This can get to a level where the unhappiness overwhelms you and takes over your life. In order to turn a relationship around and get out of this rut, both parties must be willing to “work” to save it. It is an uphill battle that can only be won by a commitment to saving what you both have worked so hard to build. Yes, over time, people do change, can grow apart, one person is no longer interested in putting forth any more effort and sometimes relationships simply just don’t “work out”. It is a terrible situation to be in and the floods of emotions that you feel run deep. Only YOU know where your “line in the sand” is drawn!
Only you know the history of your relationship, the foundation you have to re-build on, the depths of your love or disappointments and ultimately if this is the person that you want to grow old with. You must have someone that is willing to work with you and communication is the key to starting the journey to reconciliation and re-building a life that can be greater than you ever imagined.
I absolutely understand that voice that screams "RUN"! Just be sure not to make any major decisions while in an emotional state. You have to be able to take a step away from your pain, frustration, hurt and anger to truly know what the BEST decision for YOU is! Even though many of us have similar situations, each case is different because we are all individuals and we all know the history of our own relationships. Most people wish that someone would tell them what the right answer is. As I said before, only You know where your "line in the sand” is. You also need to take into account that there are always external factors to stay or go like, finances, living arrangements, if kids are still at home, etc... Sometimes you just need to have plans A-Z!
The most important thing is to keep working on YOU. Create the life you are meant to have despite the feelings you are encountering right now. Building yourself up usually has a positive ripple effect. We tend to build walls of bitterness, resentment and anger when we are in this situation. This is our self-defense mechanisms working. Time is the only thing that helps knock down some of those walls as we work on ourselves. We are all "works in process"!
No matter what the "plan" is or the final decision, you must stand on HOPE and FAITH in knowing that God is in control. Sometimes that is the only comfort we have. And, never stop believing in miracles! I have been there and I do understand! I do offer a hope that there is light & resolve at the end of the tunnel of pain & hurt!!
Just Sayin’,
Christina
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