Love Languages

Love…what a beautiful word and something the world could use more of. With today being the first day of February that can only mean one thing…Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. The very commercial day in which we express our love and affection for that special someone; usually with a bouquet of flowers or a heart shaped box of chocolates.  I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate flowers or chocolate, but I do have concern that there is just one day a year selected for the celebration for such an important and vital element in our lives. We all interpret love differently and there are many different types of love but today I am going to blog about the languages of love.

In the book, “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman, he talks about the different “love languages”, the primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He discovered in his many years of marriage counseling, that most people are drawn to someone that speaks a different “love language” than their own. He breaks down the 5 love languages as follows: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

We all identify primarily with one of these categories. It is the way that makes us feel loved. There are some that need to hear the words “I love you” as their affirmation while for others, nothing gives them a better feeling of being loved than by spending quality time and having your sweethearts undivided attention. For others the effort and thoughtfulness of a gift fills them with the sense that they are cared for. To some, the act of service, like having your honey clean the house, makes them feel like they are sharing the burdens. Still others feel most loved with physical touch. Physical touch does not just mean sex! It can be a hug or simply a gentle touch on the arm showing caring or concern.

Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if your special someone learned to speak your language? Although all of the categories above are wonderful, let me put this into perspective. Let’s say hypothetically that you were a person that felt most loved by physical touch and you are with a partner that shows you love by buying you flowers or gifts but rarely has any physical contact with you. It is not that you don’t appreciate the gifts and are ungrateful for this kind gesture, but it wouldn’t evoke the “I Love You” feeling in you that perhaps a night of snuggling would.  What if you were in the category of needing words of affirmation and you are with a partner that rarely said I love you? What if you were looking for quality time to fill that void and when you had a moment with your partner they were too busy checking their phone or emails?

How would your life change if you recognized your love language, were able to communicate that to your significant other and you both could work on loving each other more in the way in which you identify? Hmmm…something to think about! This is not the fix-all, but definitely a tool in which to add more depth of love to your relationships.

Let’s face it, life gets busy, circumstances happen and love is complicated. Isn’t it time that we treat those that we claim to love the most, the best that we possibly can? Are we lining up the feelings we have with the words we utter and the actions we take? The fact is that you can choose to make choices that add value and quality to your life. Look for ways to grow the relationships in your life and to learn about and improve yourself. This typically causes a positive ripple effect. At the end of the day don’t we all just want to love and be loved? Please don’t wait for just one day a year to express your LOVE! Now go take off another layer of that mask you are wearing and GO AND LOVE SOMEBODY!

Just Sayin’,

Christina